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Farewell to childhood by Dorzho Erdyneev (extract)
The woe came to the Woman when she occurred to listen to the talk:
Can’t you see - nobody visits us ‘cause of her, – was her daughter-in-law whispering from the next-door room. - And what is the house without guests! Say, one is sure to kick the bucket from sheer boredom. Oh boy! Just fancy being nicknamed a bugaboo! The Woman moved up to the wall to catch her son’s voice better.
- D’you want me to send my Mom to strange people?
- I mean your brother-in-law has such a big house!
The Woman shuddered. Neither during hungry years of the War nor at the day of her husband’s death felt Mother so miserable…
- No, I must not drive my mother out of the house, - pronounced her son undetermined. - What a shame will it be! People will despise me saying, “He has no place for his mother.” See, mother should live with her son, not with daughter – it has been for centuries! Moreover, my brother-in-law has his mom-and-dad.
- Shut up! - cried the young woman, - I don’t care about centuries! I can’t get on with her anymore and that’s it! She is old and backward. Just fancy her making a broom wet when sweeping the floor - the floor becomes dirtier than cleaner! And firewood! She throws chips just on the floor by the hearth. She even doesn’t put off her boots when at home! Many a time gave I slippers to her and she? And she! She has no desire to say farewell to her prehistoric habits! How can I live together with her?
No more could the Woman listen to. She went to bed. Laid her head on a pillow. Hid under the coverlet. Miserly tears were rolling down over her wrinkles. She didn’t wipe them. Life shots were moving one by one in her mind: husband’s death- two children, one being baby, left- hunger- shivering with cold… At no time did she complain. For all the hardships, she helped her son to find his feet. Little did her son know what poverty children without fathers experience. Day of his marriage… Joy felt Mother if not happiness at that day. The expectation of grandbabies filled her life now. She dreamed of nursing and bringing her grandson up in the same way as her own son. In a flash has everything gone topsy-turvy. In a flash…
The Woman was hardly able to wait till the morning. Son was going to the forest. Coming up to him, she said carefully:
You see, you’ve no baby yet and are hardly going to, so I’d better go to your sister for a little while, they need somebody to look after children. Son looked at her scowlingly:
- No, Mom, as long as I live you can’t stay anywhere more.
She kept silent. She did not want them to quarrel ‘cause of her. She saw the pair loving each other. She must not break their happiness. At no time did she complain.
The daughter-in-law came out of the bedroom. A nice silken dressing gown- cottony slippers on bare feet- thick silky hair falling over her shoulders- so beautiful was she!
- Well, my darling! Be back quicker, - said the young woman stretching herself,
- What a bore will it be alone at home!
The woman shuddered again. She appeared not to be a human being, not a person! But again kept she silent.
Days went on one to be more painful and depressing than the other. Daughter- in-law was often angry and nervous and stopped talking to her at all.
Had I been high-handed, -the Woman used to think bitterly at sleepless nights, - she wouldn’t be so fretful and huffy and change her tune. Deep in the heart she expected her son to say his firm word as befits a man. She was expecting… For the present, she did all the housework: cleaned and dusted, milked cows and carried water from the well.
The day when life collapsed came. Washing the floor, she happened to break down a mirror- The mirror- It was that very mirror… It was too large to be packed into such a small suitcase that her daughter-in-law had had in possession entering their house. The suitcase and the mirror and nothing more. It was too large to be packed into such a small suitcase that the girl carried the mirror apart. That time the Woman couldn’t understand what the maiden needed such a big thing for, but daughter –in-law seemed to know it very well.
Bitch, bitch, you’re a bitch! - cried the young woman gathering pieces and letting out a sob through the tears: - It’s you who have broken my happiness, my life! This is all ' cause of you! No word having pronounced moved the Woman backwards to the door and went- went away -went forever. Nobody knows where…
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